Sabotage
by imdeadsothere
Summary: All Harry wants is to find a nice man, settle down, and be happy. But Ron had different plans in mind for his best friend, and it's going to take a little sabotage to see them through. SLASH. LANGUAGE. ONE-SHOT.


Harry had really gotten his hopes up about this one. It had been a great first date, they'd gotten some dinner than gone to see a movie then gone for a very nice walk in the park. The second date had been even better, they'd finally kissed, spent more time talking over ice cream, and went for another walk in the park but this time they held hands. And for Harry, that was a record. Usually they dropped out after the first or second date. He wasn't entirely sure why, he just knew that one day his date would be cheerful and loving as ever and the next they were either vomiting their guts out in his toilet or fleeing from him as if he had some new kind of herpes that could be transferred by mere eye contact.

And then there was his new man, Eric, who had actually made it past the second date mark. But it looked like the third date would be the killer. Harry sighed, burying his head in his hands. He could hear the faint sounds of Eric vomiting down the toiler. Disgusting. Why did it always have to be him? He could've sworn someone was sabotaging him or something. Harry checked the food he'd served Eric; nothing was past its date. He knew because he'd checked about five times before even considering preparing it. He'd had enough of boyfriends vomiting their guts out, it looked like it wasn't the last of it.

"Hey Harry, date go well?" Harry glance up as his roommate and best mate Ron Weasley walked into the apartment. Harry just gave him a look.

"Well that's too bad," Ron said all too cheerfully, "you seemed to like him," he noted offhandedly. The toilet flushed in the background.

"Oh he's still here?" Ron said, "I thought he would've left by now…" he looked contemplative for a moment, before grinning again, "oh good! Does this mean I'll get to meet him? I hope he isn't allergic to cats, I've been playing with them all day."

"Ron!" Harry said loudly, "I thought I already told you he was allergic to cats!"

"You did? My bad, a little cat hair won't hurt," Ron said, still cheerful. Eric came back into the kitchen.

"Sorry about that," he said apologetically, "I don't know what happened there, oh," he noticed Ron, "is this your roommate?"

"The one and only," Harry grumbled.

"Hi! I'm Ron!" Ron said cheerfully, coming forward to shake Eric's hand, Harry noticed he seemed to stand rather close to him, and kept on fiddling with his jacket, waving it around a bit. Eric shook Ron's hand before turning away and loudly sneezing.

"Excuse me," he said quickly.

"Oh, it's fine," Ron said, "you wouldn't happen to be allergic to cats, would you? I've been playing with them all day." Eric took a step away from Ron.

"They're Harry's cats actually," Ron said.

"Harry has cats?" Eric asked, turning toward Harry for confirmation, Harry shook his head violently, shooting Ron a warning glare.

"Oh didn't you know? Five of them, I've tried to convince him to let them go but he just can't bear to part with them, he loves those furry little beasts," Ron said.

"Ron shut up," Harry growled, "I don't have, have never had, and never will have a single cat."

"Oh don't be silly," Ron said, walking into the kitchen and opening the refrigerator up and pulling out a huge bottle of vodka, "of course you have cats! Vodka?"

"I don't drink," Eric said. Which was true, his father had been an alcoholic and ever since then he'd have a huge aversion to alcohol. Harry didn't drink much of the stuff either, frankly he'd thought it was disgusting.

"Oh well then," Ron said, grabbing two glasses and filling them to the brim with the stuff, "just me and Harry then."

"Ron, you know I don't drink that stuff!" Harry nearly whined.

"Don't be silly," Ron said, "we usually drink a bottle of this stuff a night, nothing like some good old vodka to make things interesting," Ron picked up his glass and gulped down nearly half of it before setting it down and quickly refilling it.

"Come on Harry, don't leave yours just sitting there," Ron said cheerfully.

"Ron I don't…" Harry began.

"Maybe I should go," Eric said suddenly, turning and heading for the door.

"Wait!" Harry called, jumping up after him, "call me?" Eric just gave him a short smile before disappearing out the door, leaving Harry standing there staring at the dark brown wood that he had seen far to many men walk out of and not walk back in.

"Ron you fucking asshole!" Harry said, turning around to face his friend who have come into the living room behind him, "every single time I have a guy over you have to completely fuck everything up!" Ron just stood there, gaping.

"Why do you…?" Harry stopped, "where the fuck were you today?" he asked suddenly.

"Oh, I went around town, did some shopping and stuff," Ron said, clearly confused about Harry's change of subject.

"Then why the hell are you wearing slippers?" Harry asked.

"Oh…" Ron looked down at his feet, "um, comfort?" Harry glared at him.

"You went out to town in _slippers_?" Harry asked, crossing his arms across his chest and glaring down his friend. Something was up here, something was _definitely_ up.

"Yeah, well…" Ron trailed off. Harry spotted the glass of vodka still in his hands and snatched it away from him, he took a sip, it was water.

"Water?" Harry asked, "you filled a bottle of vodka up with _water_?"

"Yeah, well, vodka's pretty expensive these days, and I like to keep it around for show and…"

"No you don't," Harry replied, "and give me your wand."

"My…"

"Just give it to me Ronald Weasley." Ron reached into his trouser pockets, pulling out his wand. Harry took it and pulling out his own cast a quick finite incantatem. The last spell that had been cast had been a nausea spell.

"Ron…" Harry said very slowly, "have you been sabotaging me?"

"Well…" Ron began, clearly wanting to be careful about what he said seeing as Harry now had two wands, "the thing is…"

"Ron just answer me," Harry asked, his anger fading more into hurt and confusion. Why would Ron want to keep him from finding anyone? Did he expect Harry to just be single like him for the rest of forever? Just because he couldn't get a girl…

Ron didn't know what to say. Well actually he did know, he just didn't want to say it.

"I just, don't want any guy to ruin our friendship," Ron said lamely.

"You know I would have never let that happen," Harry said, "but now, now I don't even know what to do Ron," Harry said quietly, "how could you do this? All this time I've been trying to find someone and you keep on getting in my way of finding some sort of happiness!"

"You don't need anyone else to be happy," Ron said, "you have me."

"And look what good you've done me, six boyfriends already and not a single one lasted past the third date, how am I supposed to be happy when everyone keeps on leaving me?"

"I haven't left you," Ron said quietly.

"Yeah well I wish you had," Harry said, and instantly regretted having ever said that. He could see instantly how it affected Ron, as he quickly stiffened, his face going hard.

"I'm sorry Ron," Harry said, "I didn't mean that, I shouldn't have…"

"No, it's fine," Ron replied, his voice cold, "since that seems to be the way you feel about things, I'll just leave."

"Ron I didn't… please don't go!" Harry nearly begged, "I'm sorry for being an asshole, I really am. And whatever else I've done wrong I'm sorry, I'll stop bringing guys to the house if you want me to, I'll even stop dating guys at all, I can live without them, just please…" Ron looked down at Harry.

"You want to know why I really did it?" Ron said. Harry dumbly nodded.

"Because I hated seeing you with other people, and I was jealous. Not of you, but of them, because they got to be with you. And every single time I broke you and some guy apart I kept on hoping that maybe this time you'd come to me instead and not run off with some other bloke. I fucking loved you Harry Potter, but you never saw it. You were always running off with other men seeking happiness and never once did you stop to consider that maybe it was right in front of your fucking face. That maybe it's been beside you ever since you were eleven. I have hated every single fucking man that's ever held you in their arms because that man wasn't me, that's ever held your hand, or kissed you, or god knows what other things you've done! That's why I did it Harry, not because I was jealous that you actually had a date, but because I was jealous that your date wasn't _me_." Harry was stunned. Could it be…? Had Ron really…? Did he…?

"Well say something already," Ron grumbled, "I'll leave if you want me too, which you probably do, sorry for causing you any trouble, I just thought you should know." Ron turned and began to head back to his room to grab his belongings. And Harry burst into tears. And Ron being the big softie that he was just couldn't stand to leave his friend standing there bawling and quickly found himself tightly hugging the much smaller boy. So much for some grand departure. Not that he really wanted one, but if he were going to make one, it should've been dramatic.

"Please don't cry Harry," Ron said quietly, "I'm sorry, I won't really leave, I'll just stay out of your way, and you can bring as many guys over as you want and I'll just go hide in my room and pretend I don't exist and you can just…"

"No it's not that," Harry interrupted, sniffling, "it's just that I have been completely head over heels in love with you since sixth year and _now_ you tell me? Just when I thought that maybe I was finally staring to get over you, you have to come out with something like that," Harry sniffled.

"Wait, you mean… you… you fancy me?"

"No Ron, I love you," Harry said, "how could I not?"

"Well aside from the fact that I'm gangly and pale…" Harry let out a small choked laughter.

"Just shut up before I remember that I should probably be mad at you for being so bloody _slow_," Harry grumbled, burying his head into Ron's chest.

"Shutting up now!" Ron said quickly, not wanting to anger Harry any further and completely ruin the first chance he'd ever gotten to be with Harry.

"Just one thing," Ron said.

"What?" Harry asked, lifting his head up.

"Can I kiss you?" Harry just stared at the red-head, before giving a small smile.

"Fuck you," Harry said, and promptly kissed him on the lips.

And the only thing Ron could think of was he was definitely going to have to be trying this sabotage thing more, especially if this is what it got him.


End file.
